What is intersex/what does it mean?
Intersex folks are born with variations in chromosomes, genes, or genitals. According to Amerikkan health guidelines, we do not "fit" the specification of male or female. I was born with a smaller uterus, and an extra chromosome that releases a large amount of testosterone. Unfortunately the medical system does not see black bodies as human, so I illegally had a surgery at birth, which led to internal shame and external physical differences.
What are intersections between binary and intersex people?
Depending on how intersex folks choose to identify, this can vary. For me, I am femme presenting because I do not identify or adhere to binary. This is limiting in presentation, because I am seen as a woman.
How do I navigate being intersex and black/asian?
There is not a lot of awareness or room to grow in this area, but like every facet of my life, I make the space for my differences and honor myself. Based on my appearance, I've been asked if I'm a transwoman. This used to offend me- which is a horrible internalized microaggression that I had to check some years back. Black transwomen are the foundation for black and gay liberation. Without them, many of us could not exist. In my case, my reply is simple. I am a femme intersex being. I'm nor one or the other. I'm not a part of a harmful, white construct that limits black and brown bodies from existing. There is a lot of work to be done in the black and asian community because of the backlash and stigmas around intersex. We just aren't seen. And that is the worst feeling...to be buried by hundreds of years of oppression, along with layers of humanity that have been stripped from me.
Medical difficulty or stigmas surrounding being intersex?
It's worse than one would think. Many intersex babies are put into the binary, or have surgeries to "make them a gender" at birth. This is to say...you cannot live or exist in this world unless you pick one. You cannot make someone something they are not. Dehumanization to the core, the UK recently passed laws to "protect" intersex babies, but those laws have no impact here. Like other intersex folks, I grew up with medical issues but also always felt that something "wasn't right." I have identified as a transman, a queer woman, and now I can finally find solace in saying I am a queer intersex femme.
Raising children as a black intersex person
This is still a work in progress. Right now, I have a ten year old who told me she likes girls, and a 5 month old baby. I am very open with my ten year old about identity and sexuality. The outside stigma is draining, however. Amerikka sees me as a woman. So, there are societal "norms" placed upon how I should parent and how to present myself. I am none of those norms. I'm black, and NOT a woman. People like to place folks in the binary which is abuse. I'm a parent, and I exist for myself and my children. Nobody else. In turn, this is a lot of labor I am still working through. You've got to understand- everything in this country is a system NOT created for black non binary bodies. My child goes to school, takes in all of this harmful antiblack antiqueer narrative every day. So, it is a constant teaching and undoing. I refuse to have my children grow up not seeing me or themselves.
Sexual identity and intersection of intersex folks/my own experience.
My sexual identity has been hard in terms of accepting myself and the standards my previous partners have placed on me. In every situation, I've had antiblack partners or been fetishized for my physical body. My partner currently, is a queer asian cis male. We had open dialogue before embarking on any physical activity and I was given space to state my needs as well as my identity. Although he never heard of it, he did the work. And that's how it should be. Intersex folks deserve validation and love. To be black/asian and intersex simply means that I have a lot of layers that make me beautiful. Those layers don't need to be ripped away, so I hold onto my beauty: my blackness, my Japanese heritage AND my Intersex identity with my life.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 06/52. 'Diamond - part 2' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper